Real Talk - Marriage

I will be the first to say that marriage is hard work.  Some days I am so angry at Brent I can't see straight and other days I am gushing with love for him.  We have finally reached a place in our relationship where the happy days far outnumbers the tough days.  If I'm speaking honestly it is because I let go.

After we first got married I had images of what an ideal marriage was and how our lives were going to play out.  First mistake.  I would get all worked up because I would make myself think he had to do certain things to prove his love for me.  I would get angry because he didn't do this or that like I wanted.

Fast forward a few years, we are almost four years in to our marriage and we become parents.  Becoming parents put a significant strain on our relationship.  There was a while where I wasn't sure if we were going to make it.  We lived life always putting Madelynn first and slowly our relationship dwindled.  I became so depressed because I would imagine a love/marriage like in the books I read (I was reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks around that time) or in the movies I watched.

After a couple of years of bumpy roads things started to get better.  Each day we were fighting less, laughing more and genuinely enjoying being together.  Just the other day I found myself thinking about why am I so happy now and how our marriage has become stronger than it has ever been?

This is why...

I let go of the perfect marriage I had built in my head all those years ago.  I let go of the ideal romance that the movies and books shove down our throats.  I stopped comparing my relationship with those around me.  I stopped dwelling on what I felt were his shortcomings and started focusing on the little things he did that made me happy.  I started showing him more appreciation for the daily things he does for our family, even if it is as small as folding a load of towels. I quit harping on him about every little thing I disagreed with or felt he did wrong.  I learned not to sweat the small stuff and let things go.  Once I found myself letting go of the fantasy I became happy.  I became more in love with him and our relationship began to thrive.

Will we still have rough patches?  Probably.  However, those bad days won't seem as bad if I just let go a little bit.

I couldn't imagine life without him being there to make me laugh.