Although those words filled my heart that day they became more powerful last Thursday. After returning to the office after being out ill the day before I was slammed with tons of work, helping to orient a new employee, stress of school, stress of being at a weight loss plateau, etc. It was all so heavy on me that day, everything. If you follow me on instagram (@assignmentamanda) you saw this pic.
After the end of a long day I couldn't take it anymore. On the way home I cried because of stress at work, I cried because of stress with school, I cried because of how much time I have had to sacrifice because I didn't finish college right after high school, I cried because I let my weight get so out of control, I cried because I have not made any weight loss progress in 2 months, I cried because I hurt so deeply inside from the transgressions I have made against myself.
After the tears finally stopped the words from that homily began to ring true in my heart. Through all those times I have forgiven others for their transgressions against me I have never forgiven myself. In order to move forward on my journey I need to forgive myself for things that I have done to me and when I am feeling that the hurt again I need to forgive myself again. I will keep doing this until I don't feel that hurt anymore.
With this said I encourage you to reflect on what you haven't forgiven yourself for and start the process of forgiveness. When it resurfaces later in life (and it will) I encourage you to forgive yourself again. Forgiveness is a very powerful thing and it is not a one time/one step process..
Until next time,
Amanda
Hey I am glad to see u back on ur blog, it can be terrible to hit a plateau in the weight loss, I hit that in September, and haven't lost much since (About 3-5lbs only!!!!) but I know my fitness is improving. I am trying to focus more on fitness rather than the scales. If ur clothes are fitting u better, and u are making healthier choices then you are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when we go to church we can feel that the sermon is directed at us, this is God speaking to u, listen. Sometimes we need to learn that we cannot do everything. We need to relax and to forgive ourselves for not being able to do everything.
You are doing ur best. Thats all u can do.
Just keep doing it!!
Ur great just the way u are
XX
I am glad to be back on the blog, writing helps me feel less crazy. As my hubby put it I am getting "trying my best" and "being perfect" confused. I have made some changes that will hopefully jumpstart my weight loss again (blog post coming about this). As always thank you for your kind words and for reading.
DeleteI was just talking with a friend about this. He is new in his walk with Christ and I told him that I was taught forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true. Forgiveness is an amazing thing and it happens over and over through the healing process. I am so glad that your friend has started his faith journey. Thank you for reading!
DeleteWe are always harder on ourselves.. just know 'it is what it is'.. no one is perfect and God does not expect us to be perfect. Life can get frustrating but at least you are lucky enough to live it, right? ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat is very true. Each day is a blessing and we should treat it as such. Thanks for reading!
DeleteWhat a powerful post!! I completely agree that forgiveness is often not just a 1 time thing & that we must continue to choose to do so when the hurt re-surfaces. BTW: So glad that you've recognized how important it is to forgive yourself!
ReplyDeleteThanks Christy, I cannot fully love myself if I don't forgive and let go. Thanks for reading!
DeleteWhat a STRONG post! I'm so glad you stopped by my blog and I have made a new friend -- I have found myself relating to so much as I read! Forgiveness is such an amazing thing, sweet friend, and I'm glad you have found it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amanda, as hard as forgiveness is it feel amazing when you do it.
DeleteWhat a great post. This is something I needed to hear today.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that it touched you in a positive way. Thanks for reading.
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