Running On Empty

I recently came to the realization that I am not a runner.  Me liking running is never going to happen.  Furthermore, the chances of me growing a pair and actually completing a half marathon this year...

When I am done with my runs I feel like crap.  I hear about this runners high and how you just hit this place where you feel amazing and you cry tears of joy.  {Ummmm yeah, that has not happened to me so I am still counting it as a myth.}  I mean high fives to all those who love running but it ain't for me.

I am signed up for a color run on April 26th and I am still going to honor that commitment but I am not going to kill myself trying to finish it.  I am going to have fun with my friends and run (code for jog) when I can and walk the rest of the way.

  
During my contemplation of running, I also figured out that weight lifting is for me.  I get in there and get 'er done and finish feeling ready to kick ass and take names.  I mean I am exhausted at the end but it empowers me.  So from this point on I am going to focus on weight training with a little cardio sprinkled in the mix.

What types of workouts empower you?

Letting Go of the Secrets

When I started this blog several months ago I wanted to be completely honest with you all.  I won't lie some of the things I have shared (like progress pics in tight fitting clothing) have been hard.  This past weekend I made the decision that I wanted to tell all of my secrets.  As hard as it is to share this information I have to smile through the adversity.

I have decided it is time to share my stats with you all. When I started this journey in August I weighed 344.8 lbs.  My current weight is 313.9 lbs although I have fluctuated between 311-315 for the past 4 months. I started out a size 26/28 and am now wearing size 22/24.  I would really like to get down to a size 18 by the end of the year.  

When I first started I was so ashamed/scared to share my weight because I feared the unknown reaction of the strangers who might come across that info.  Now I don't care because I am doing something about it.  I figured that hiding that number is giving it power over my life and I don't need that in my life.

Since I have struggled the past few months I decided to updated my progress photos and my measurements (I could kick myself for not doing measurements in the beginning).   Below are my updates.

Measurements 1/2/14
Bust - 52.5"
L Arm - 18"
R Arm - 18.75"
Waist - 52.5"
Midway - 53.25"
Hips - 59"
R thigh - 29.5"
L thigh - 27.5"
R knee - 22"
L knee - 20.5"

Measurements 4/5/14
Bust - 52"
L Arm - 17.75"
R Arm - 17.75"
Waist - 50"
Midway - 51.75"
Hips - 57.25"
R thigh - 28.25"
L thigh - 28"
R knee - 21"
L knee - 19.75"

Left, 12/31/13 Right 4/5/14

Left-12/31/13, Right- 4/5/14 (I can see the most difference in my body in this pic)

Left, 12/31/13 Right 4/5/14

Although my weight is essentially the same I have lost 9.25 inches all over my body.  So there ya have it.

What are you letting go of this week?

The importance of music

Finding the motivation to workout is a real struggle for me every week.  With that said, I have to find things that get me pumped to get my sweat on.  My music is definitely a key factor in my workouts.  When I switched phones in December I put some of my music on my phone quickly one day and have been listening to the same handful of tracks for a few months.  Last week I decided I need to sit down and get my music situation straightened out. So this last weekend I bought a few new tracks and added some new music to my phone.    I find that different types of music motivate me differently.  For example, rap/hip hop and hard rock make me want to lift all the heavy things, while music I can sing to (classic rock/pop and newer music) helps me get through my runs.

So I organized a few playlists so I could choose the right music at the right time in order to keep me motivated during my workouts.  I have shared my playlists below (I play them on random so I don't hear the same artist back to back) so you can see what I am listening to and maybe find some music you want to add to your mix.

Playlist #1 - Rap

1. Eminem - No Love
2. Ice Cube - Today was a good day
3. Fugees - Ready or Not
4. Juicy J - Bandz a Make Her Dance
5. Nelly - Shake Ya Tail Feather
6. Rick Ross - Push It
7. Rick Ross - Hustlin
8. Ying Yang Twins - Badd
9. Ying Yang Twins - Shake
10. Nelly - Number One
11. D12 - Purple Pills
12. Nelly - Grillz
13. Youngbloodz - 85/Billy Dee Interlude
14. Youngbloodz - Presidential
15. Young Jeezy - Soul Survivor
16. Young Jeezy - And then what
17. Young Jeezy - I Luv It
18. Ying Yang Twins - Salt Shaker
19. Three Six Mafia - Side to Side
20. Three Six Mafia - Poppin My Collar
21. Three Six Mafia - Stay Fly
22. Snoop Dogg - Drop It Like It's Hot
23. Kanye - Heartless
24. Kanye - Stronger

Playlist #2 - Rock

1. Audioslave - Be Yourself
2. Butthole Surfers - Pepper
3. Carfax Abbey - Cry Little Sister
4. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
5. Marilyn Manson - Heart Shaped Glasses
6. Marilyn Manson - The Dope Show
7. Black Veil Brides - In the End
8. Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug
9. Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box
10. Orgy - Blue Monday
11. Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
12. Offspring - Gone Away
13. Offspring - Come Out and Play
14. Offspring - Self-Esteem
15. Limp Bizkit - My Way
16. Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams
17. CKY - 96 Quite Bitter Beings
18. Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything

Playlist #3 - 70s, 80s and 90s mix

1. Alice Cooper - I'm 18
2. Billy Squier - My Kinda Lover
3. Bob Dylan - Knockin' on Heaven's Door
4. Bob Seger - Old Time Rock and Roll
5. Bob Seger - Night Moves
6. Bob Seger - Mainstreet
7. Bob Seger - Turn the Page
8. Bob Seger - Her Strut
9. Bob Seger - You'll Accomp'ny Me
10. Boys Don't Cry - I Wanna Be a Cowboy
11. Breakwater - Release the Beast
12. Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
13. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
14. Duran Duran - Reflex
15. Duran Duran - Planet Earth
16. Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf
17. Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
18. Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good
19. McHammer - Can't Touch This
20. Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al
21. Peter Gabriel - Shock the Monkey
22. Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
23. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
24. Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way
25. Quaterflash - Harden My Heart
26. Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
27. Radiohead - Karma Police
28. Rick James - Super Freak
29. Salt-N-Pepa - Push It
30. US3 - Cantaloop
31. Weezer - Buddy Holly
32. Tom Petty - I Won't Back Down
33. Tom Petty - Free Fallin
34. Tom Petty - Mary Jane's Last Dance
35. U2 - Pride
36. Pink Floyd - Another Brick on the Wall
37. Moody Blues - Nights in White Satin
38. Cars - Moving in Stereo
39. Talk Talk - It's My Life
40. A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran
41. Talking Heads - Burning Down the House
42. Tears for Fears - Head Over Heals

Playlist #4 - Newer Music

1. Awolnation - Sail
2. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound
3. Capital Cities - Kangaroo Court
4. David Guetta - Titanium
5. Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body
6. Depeche Mode - Precious
7. DJ Laz - Move Shake Drop Remix
8. Drake - Hold On, We're Going Home
9. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home
10. Foster the People - Helena Beat
11. Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks
12. Foster the People - Waste
13. Foster the People - Houdini
14. Foster the People - Miss You
15. Katy Perry - Roar
16. Lana Del Rey - Born to Die
17. Lana Del Ray - Radio
18. Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness
19. Linkin Park (Reanimation) - Pts. of Athrty
20. Linkin Park - Faint
21. Little Boots - New in Town
22. M.I.A - Paper Planes
23. M.I.A. - Bad Girls
24. Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop
25. MGMT - Electric Feel
26. MGMT - Time to Pretend
27. MGMT - Kids
28. Missy Elliot - Gossip Folks
29. Missy Elliot - Work It
30. Modest Mouse - Float On
31. Nelly Fertado - Maneater
32. NKOTB - Remix (I Like the)
33. Sean Paul - Temperature
34. Shakira - She Wolf
35. The Cardigans - Erase and Rewind
36. System of a Down - Lost in Hollywood
37. 30 Seconds to Mars - Do or Die

What are some songs that keep you motivated during your workout?

Birthday Presents: Losing my Etsy Virginity and a Giveaway

So I did a really terrible job at telling Brent what I wanted for my birthday this year.  There was just not really anything out there I was dying for.  So while laying in bed one night I decided to browse Etsy for the 5849522 time.  I had looked around so many times but never ordered anything.  So I decided that I wanted to order my own birthday presents (I think Brent was glad he got a pass) and gave into my Etsy desires.  Here is what I Brent got for me.

Vintage dictionary art from Retro Book Art.  I love vintage things and this was right up my alley.  These were buy 2 get 1 free.  (This is the free one I got for Brent, here)

Wooden monogram from League of Letters.  I plan on putting this above our bed, I just can't figure out what color to paint it!

Have you ever hear of Jane.com?  They have all kinds of boutiques that list their items for a fraction of the price.  I got these items form there.

Navy chevron purse from Tinley Laityn.  I paid less than half price for this, including shipping.

Initial 2 tone necklace from the Silver Loft.  This is an Etsy shop but I found them on Jane.  I just got this necklace and cannot wait to wear it.  I got an M on it because I think it is super cute to wear your kids initials on jewelry.

So why am I telling you about all these cute things.  It is because I am giving you a chance to win a $25 Etsy gift card from me.  You can enter the giveaway below and can choose how you want to follow me.  The giveaway ends Monday night, I will announce the winner and email them their gift card on Tuesday 4/1.

Have you ever purchased from Etsy?  What was your most favorite purchase? a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: All of these items I found on my own and purchased with my hard earned money. Not getting paid for this, I am just sharing some cute stuff I found.

I am still alive....

Hey y'all I am still here.  Since my last post things have been slightly hectic.  Let me see if I can accurately recap what has been going on.

1.  My first 8 week session of this semester ended on 3/7/14 and it could not have come at a better time.  I was at the end of my rope.  If you follow me on instagram (@assignmentamanda) then you saw that I made A's in BOTH of those classes. Holla!  This is rare for me.  I just started my second 8 weeks and I think it is going to be much easier.

2.  I turned 29 and had a really nice low-key birthday.  I will be sharing the gifts I got along with an Etsy gift card giveaway on Friday so be sure to check back.

3.  I took my first plane ride to the beautiful city of Miami.  About a month ago I wrote about my anxiety about flying and not being able to fit into the plane seat.  (Read that HERE). I am more than happy to report that I actually like flying and I had absolutely no problems sitting in the seat.  My views from the hotel were absolutely beautiful and the weather was gorgeous.  I went for business but will definitely visit again for funzies.

Excuse the no make-up face but I had to take a selfie to document my first plane ride

Right outside of my hotel.  

4.  I threw Brent a 30th birthday party.  He is simple so we just had a small gathering of friends and family at the house.  A good time was had by all.  His response was "I didn't even know that I wanted something like this and I am glad I got it."  I guess I did good.  Honey, if you are reading this just know I am still expecting my 80's themed bash next year!

My whole heart

5.  I had another meeting with my personal trainer and it was awesome.  I walked out of there feeling like a BAMF.  I have one more session with her this Friday and I will be on my own.  I would love to continue with her but at $70 a session it's not gonna happen.  She understands this and has given me some foundation that I can build on.

6.  My C25K training has been slacking.  However, yesterday I got back at it and jogged for 3 minutes straight TWICE.  It was ugly but I am counting it as a win.  I have exactly one month until my Color Run so I need to start being a little more serious about getting my runs in.

What have you been up to lately?

Until next time,
Amanda

Ch Ch Changes

I have hit my first plateau.  For the past 2 months I have hovered at a 30 lb weight loss.  One week I will see a little loss and the next week I am back to where I started.  I am really tired of spinning my wheels so I decided to change it up.

My eating isn't terrible but it could stand to be cleaned up some more so I quit WW. (Don't freak out on me now, there is method to my madness).  I quit WW for a couple of reasons.  I think it is a really good tool for beginners.  It allows you to gain control over your eating and teaches healthy eating habits.  However, now I know what I should be eating and how to listen to my body and the point system really doesn't correlate when everything else is based of off calories and nutritional value.  So I switched over to My Fitness Pal.  I made this switch so I could start tracking calories as well as proteins, carbs, etc. Plus I wanted to put the $18.95 a month I spend on WW towards another monthly subscription.

So I joined a gym.  I mainly joined so I would have access to heavier weights and have a place to run if it was cold and/or rainy (this is Texas, I never know what the weather is going to do).  When I signed up, I also signed up for a few sessions of personal training.  I need someone to show me more exercises I can do on my own.  I already had one session with my PT and can't wait for the next (I have been sick and had to postpone my second session).  

With these modifications I have made I am starting to see some changes in my weight/body and hope they continue.  The bigger picture with these changes is to not only jump start my weight loss again but I want to be more confident in the gym setting and build strength.  I want to feel like a BAMF no matter what size or what weigh I am.   

Have you ever hit a plateau in your fitness?  What did you do to get past it?

Until next time,

Amanda

Spiritual Sunday: Forgiveness

Last Sunday at church the homily (sermon) was about forgiveness.  The heart of the message was that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting and that we will be called to forgive transgressions again and again as the hurt resurfaces.  As I sat in the pew my eyes filled with tears because this has been all to true for me.  Those that I love the most have hurt me deeply.  They are able to hurt me deeply because I love them so much.  I cannot forget what was done and some days I am called to forgive those transgressions against me again and hand it over to God.

Although those words filled my heart that day they became more powerful last Thursday.  After returning to the office after being out ill the day before I was slammed with tons of work, helping to orient a new employee, stress of school, stress of being at a weight loss plateau, etc.  It was all so heavy on me that day, everything.  If you follow me on instagram (@assignmentamanda) you saw this pic.

After the end of a long day I couldn't take it anymore. On the way home I cried because of stress at work, I cried because of stress with school, I cried because of how much time I have had to sacrifice because I didn't finish college right after high school, I cried because I let my weight get so out of control, I cried because I have not made any weight loss progress in 2 months, I cried because I hurt so deeply inside from the transgressions I have made against myself.

After the tears finally stopped the words from that homily began to ring true in my heart.  Through all those times I have forgiven others for their transgressions against me I have never forgiven myself. In order to move forward on my journey I need to forgive myself for things that I have done to me and when I am feeling that the hurt again I need to forgive myself again.  I will keep doing this until I don't feel that hurt anymore.

With this said I encourage you to reflect on what you haven't forgiven yourself for and start the process of forgiveness.  When it resurfaces later in life (and it will) I encourage you to forgive yourself again.  Forgiveness is a very powerful thing and it is not a one time/one step process..


Until next time,
Amanda

You can listen to the homily referenced in this post by visiting Father Ryan's website HERE.  His words always reach my heart and encourage me to be better.