Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Real Talk - Marriage

I will be the first to say that marriage is hard work.  Some days I am so angry at Brent I can't see straight and other days I am gushing with love for him.  We have finally reached a place in our relationship where the happy days far outnumbers the tough days.  If I'm speaking honestly it is because I let go.

After we first got married I had images of what an ideal marriage was and how our lives were going to play out.  First mistake.  I would get all worked up because I would make myself think he had to do certain things to prove his love for me.  I would get angry because he didn't do this or that like I wanted.

Fast forward a few years, we are almost four years in to our marriage and we become parents.  Becoming parents put a significant strain on our relationship.  There was a while where I wasn't sure if we were going to make it.  We lived life always putting Madelynn first and slowly our relationship dwindled.  I became so depressed because I would imagine a love/marriage like in the books I read (I was reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks around that time) or in the movies I watched.

After a couple of years of bumpy roads things started to get better.  Each day we were fighting less, laughing more and genuinely enjoying being together.  Just the other day I found myself thinking about why am I so happy now and how our marriage has become stronger than it has ever been?

This is why...

I let go of the perfect marriage I had built in my head all those years ago.  I let go of the ideal romance that the movies and books shove down our throats.  I stopped comparing my relationship with those around me.  I stopped dwelling on what I felt were his shortcomings and started focusing on the little things he did that made me happy.  I started showing him more appreciation for the daily things he does for our family, even if it is as small as folding a load of towels. I quit harping on him about every little thing I disagreed with or felt he did wrong.  I learned not to sweat the small stuff and let things go.  Once I found myself letting go of the fantasy I became happy.  I became more in love with him and our relationship began to thrive.

Will we still have rough patches?  Probably.  However, those bad days won't seem as bad if I just let go a little bit.

I couldn't imagine life without him being there to make me laugh.


  1. Aww great post! And a great reminder. Marriage is hard work but just keep those communication lines open always!

  2. Great post! Marriage IS work sometimes, but any relationship worth having truly is "work" - the best kind of work, however. And yea, it's hard not to have expectations, but as long as you're happy, and fulfilled that is all that matters, right? :)

  3. I've had plenty of those "ideas" of what my perfect marriage is. I've read the books, seen the movies, been on pinterest. I'm convinced that those are just things to drive us wives/gf's crazy! This post hits the nail on the head because marriage is hard. But because we work at our marriage everyday it has not only survived but thrived. I couldn't imagine Matt not being there every day!