I will be the first to say that marriage is hard work. Some days I am so angry at Brent I can't see straight and other days I am gushing with love for him. We have finally reached a place in our relationship where the happy days far outnumbers the tough days. If I'm speaking honestly it is because I let go.
After we first got married I had images of what an ideal marriage was and how our lives were going to play out. First mistake. I would get all worked up because I would make myself think he had to do certain things to prove his love for me. I would get angry because he didn't do this or that like I wanted.
Fast forward a few years, we are almost four years in to our marriage and we become parents. Becoming parents put a significant strain on our relationship. There was a while where I wasn't sure if we were going to make it. We lived life always putting Madelynn first and slowly our relationship dwindled. I became so depressed because I would imagine a love/marriage like in the books I read (I was reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks around that time) or in the movies I watched.
After a couple of years of bumpy roads things started to get better. Each day we were fighting less, laughing more and genuinely enjoying being together. Just the other day I found myself thinking about why am I so happy now and how our marriage has become stronger than it has ever been?
This is why...
I let go of the perfect marriage I had built in my head all those years ago. I let go of the ideal romance that the movies and books shove down our throats. I stopped comparing my relationship with those around me. I stopped dwelling on what I felt were his shortcomings and started focusing on the little things he did that made me happy. I started showing him more appreciation for the daily things he does for our family, even if it is as small as folding a load of towels. I quit harping on him about every little thing I disagreed with or felt he did wrong. I learned not to sweat the small stuff and let things go. Once I found myself letting go of the fantasy I became happy. I became more in love with him and our relationship began to thrive.
Will we still have rough patches? Probably. However, those bad days won't seem as bad if I just let go a little bit.
I couldn't imagine life without him being there to make me laugh.