I overheard a conversation between two high school girls the other day. It went something like this “Oh you posted that pic to Facebook? I hate that picture of me, I look fat and ugly!” The girl saying this was slightly overweight and she was clearly frustrated with the way she looked in the photo. After hearing this I started thinking how many times I have been in that same situation, hating the way I looked in a photograph. Trying to make sure I was photographed from a good angle.
In all honesty I don’t feel like I look. I feel much smaller than what I am and when I see a picture of myself I always think is that how I really look? I really believe I am a skinny girl trapped in a fat girl’s body. I dream about what it is like to be skinny. I often wonder how I will feel or what my body will look like after I lose all the weight. I have never been skinny and cannot imagine what it will be like when I get there.
The thoughts are what keeps me motivated on days when I really want to stuff my face or give up all together. I want my outside to look like how I feel on the inside. I don’t want to there to be a disconnect of my self-perception and the picture.
|This is me today, feeling confident and pretty on the inside. Here's to making it show on the outside.|