PMDD and Me

Have you ever felt so not yourself?  You cry for absolutely no reason, have a hard time pulling yourself out of bed, become so incredibly depressed/hateful and the only thing that has changed is one day.  This is me approximately 10 days out of every month.  I have PMDD.

You might be asking yourself how did I figure this out.  Well here is a little bit of background.  I was on birth control pills from the time I was 18 until about a year before I got pregnant with Madelynn and then after having Madelynn I had an IUD implanted. In March 2013 I had my IUD removed for religious reasons and also because I started reading things about the IUD that I did not agree with. {basically I really didn't do my homework before getting it, lesson learned}.  Using some form of birth control for so long I never really had my monthlies in their pure form.

After, I had the IUD removed my next cycle came and it was ok but with each month my "PMS" became more severe.  Like clockwork about 10 days before I was due to start I would become incredibly depressed.  I felt like all hope was lost, I became paranoid about my abilities as a wife and mother and would become reclusive.  I just wasn't me and did not understand why.

My wake up call was one day in August.  I got to work and immediately shut my office door (I wanted to be alone).  I remember setting at my desk and hating everything and feeling utterly hopeless.  Then my boss called and casually asked "Hey, how are you today?".  I lost it.  I started sobbing and I told her I thought I needed to see the doctor something was seriously wrong with me.  {I can only imagine how crazy I sounded that day, it is kind of embarrassing to think about.} 

That day I made an appointment with my OBGYN.  I remember being worried that he might think I was just losing my marbles and would not believe me.  Side note: Can I just say when you find a good OBGYN, hang on to him/her.  Anyways, I went to my appointment and he immediately said you have all the sign/symptoms of PMDD.  The bad news was that there is no real treatment for it because there is not enough research to pinpoint the cause.  After talking with my doc we decided that the best course of action for me was to continue my healthy eating habits and exercise and 10 days before my anticipated start date I would take a very low dose of Prozac to take the edge off and a diuretic to help with the bloating. 

I was skeptical the first month I tried it but it made a world of difference.  I felt slightly "hormonal" but it was manageable.  This month I forgot to take the medication and I can tell a huge difference.  For the last three days I have hated everyone/everything and just want to be left alone.  It is starting to subside now but I think it goes without saying, I will be taking the medicine next month.

I am sharing this story because there may be other women that are suffering from PMDD and may not realize it or are scared to talk about it. A lot of times as women we feel that our situations are so unique but in most cases they aren't.  If we would just be a little more open and honest we might find the support we need and feel less alone in our situations.

Until next time,
Amanda